Thursday, October 25, 2007
Rudy G is An Avid Reader of this Blog
In case you haven't heard, Rudy Giuliani read my blog yesterday and said he would end illegal immigration in as little as three to four years if elected President. He undoubtedly got his idea for a very large fence from me, although his technology is a lot better and he has a lot more troops guarding the border. Maybe he'll remember me when he has to elect a VP...
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Governor Spitzer Might Be Mexican
Just throwing that out there. People agree with his new proposal to give illegal immigrants driver's licenses as much as they want a second season of the television show Cavemen. Having wasted a half hour of my life watching that show, that's pretty bad.
There is only one reasonable explanation for why he would push for this. He is convinced that it would decrease the amount of illegals we have now due to an increase in car accidents. You know many illegal immigrants can't read. They'll never know when to stop or how fast to go.
There are better solutions to the illegal immigrant problem. Try some of these:
- Big wall. Along the whole bottom of the U.S. I'm thinking a healthy 25 feet. One entrance somewhere around Corpus Christy or El Paso, Texas.
- Line the border with those life size celebrity cut outs. Slow them down a little bit. Those things look real. Maybe some Salma Hayek, Penelope Cruz, Eva Mendez and Rosaline Sanchez action for the males and Antonio Banderes, Enrique Inglesias and George Clooney for the females. Why George Clooney? Easy. Who can resist George Clooney?
- Open Taco Bells along the base of Texas, Arizona and California. Another distraction method.
I will be running for President in the year 2040. Keep this in mind.
And if this was offensive to anyone, uh, I got nothing for ya.
There is only one reasonable explanation for why he would push for this. He is convinced that it would decrease the amount of illegals we have now due to an increase in car accidents. You know many illegal immigrants can't read. They'll never know when to stop or how fast to go.
There are better solutions to the illegal immigrant problem. Try some of these:
- Big wall. Along the whole bottom of the U.S. I'm thinking a healthy 25 feet. One entrance somewhere around Corpus Christy or El Paso, Texas.
- Line the border with those life size celebrity cut outs. Slow them down a little bit. Those things look real. Maybe some Salma Hayek, Penelope Cruz, Eva Mendez and Rosaline Sanchez action for the males and Antonio Banderes, Enrique Inglesias and George Clooney for the females. Why George Clooney? Easy. Who can resist George Clooney?
- Open Taco Bells along the base of Texas, Arizona and California. Another distraction method.
I will be running for President in the year 2040. Keep this in mind.
And if this was offensive to anyone, uh, I got nothing for ya.
Sunday, October 21, 2007
October = Horror Movies
Who doesn't love a little crazed psycho chasing you with a knife while wearing a mask? Or a creepy ghost crawling down a flight of stairs, bones cracking each movement with a little boy somewhere close by meowing like a cat? How about human torture, limbs being ripped off bodies and seeing the insides of a person ending up on the floor?
Well, actually, a lot of people don't like that kind of stuff.
But there are plenty of people who are the minority, including myself. Only a small percentage of them do not require some sort of mental therapy, but they count as horror fans too. Here are some of the most recent horror films I have watched, good and bad.
30 Days of Night - Possibly the best vampire film since 1987's Lost Boys (featuring a not-so-ass kicking Keifer Sutherland.) Blood and suspense was a plenty, and without the token hot teenage girl that screams for 75% of the movie. After a mundane start to the movie, business picked up and didn't slow until the credits rolled. Vampires overtaking a mostly deserted city in Alaska. Who would have thought it to be good? The graphic novel is also worth a read if you're into that sort of thing.
The Hitcher (2007) - Sophia Bush and some guy star. (Zachary Knighten) Oh and the killer. (Sean Bean) That's all you really need to know. Really, if you're a guy you'll just enjoy watching Sophia run around screaming and scared, but then try the famous take on the baddie alone approach. If you're not a guy, well then I got nothing for you. It's not a bad movie, but there are better options.
Grudge 2 - I enjoyed Grudge. I had a hard time understanding why there needed to be a second one though. And after watching the second installment, I have an even harder time thinking that there could possibly be more on the way. There were some decent scares, but there are also plenty of times that you were supposed to be scared, but weren't so you have nothing to do for the several seconds that you're supposed to be composing yourself, so you laugh hysterically instead.
Hills Have Eyes 2 - As a fan of movies like the Saw franchise, Hostel and the first Hills (2006, not 1977) I enjoy a bit of blood, gore and general twistedness in movies. This movie pushed that to my limit. It actually made me gag. In the opening minutes nonetheless. If you have a strong stomach, you'll be ok with it. It wasn't overly scary, but was deeply disturbing. Of course it had the token attractive, unintelligent female lead role, who had to shed clothing to fight the deformed miners, but that happens all the time. If you're good looking, female, are carrying an assault rifle and have to fight some deranged, deformed men who want to kill you, first things first, take off the top layer of clothing. Common knowledge.
Well, actually, a lot of people don't like that kind of stuff.
But there are plenty of people who are the minority, including myself. Only a small percentage of them do not require some sort of mental therapy, but they count as horror fans too. Here are some of the most recent horror films I have watched, good and bad.
30 Days of Night - Possibly the best vampire film since 1987's Lost Boys (featuring a not-so-ass kicking Keifer Sutherland.) Blood and suspense was a plenty, and without the token hot teenage girl that screams for 75% of the movie. After a mundane start to the movie, business picked up and didn't slow until the credits rolled. Vampires overtaking a mostly deserted city in Alaska. Who would have thought it to be good? The graphic novel is also worth a read if you're into that sort of thing.
The Hitcher (2007) - Sophia Bush and some guy star. (Zachary Knighten) Oh and the killer. (Sean Bean) That's all you really need to know. Really, if you're a guy you'll just enjoy watching Sophia run around screaming and scared, but then try the famous take on the baddie alone approach. If you're not a guy, well then I got nothing for you. It's not a bad movie, but there are better options.
Grudge 2 - I enjoyed Grudge. I had a hard time understanding why there needed to be a second one though. And after watching the second installment, I have an even harder time thinking that there could possibly be more on the way. There were some decent scares, but there are also plenty of times that you were supposed to be scared, but weren't so you have nothing to do for the several seconds that you're supposed to be composing yourself, so you laugh hysterically instead.
Hills Have Eyes 2 - As a fan of movies like the Saw franchise, Hostel and the first Hills (2006, not 1977) I enjoy a bit of blood, gore and general twistedness in movies. This movie pushed that to my limit. It actually made me gag. In the opening minutes nonetheless. If you have a strong stomach, you'll be ok with it. It wasn't overly scary, but was deeply disturbing. Of course it had the token attractive, unintelligent female lead role, who had to shed clothing to fight the deformed miners, but that happens all the time. If you're good looking, female, are carrying an assault rifle and have to fight some deranged, deformed men who want to kill you, first things first, take off the top layer of clothing. Common knowledge.
Well, that's all I have time for in this first movie review segment. There will be lots of these, since that is what I do with myself in any spare time that I come across. Until next time...
Saturday, October 20, 2007
Welcome
Welcome to the blog that will address only life's most important topics, as the clever catchphrase at the top states. I am being modest when I say that this blog will change your life. For serious.
This blog will touch on any and every topic that is important in life, with the most prominent being sports, television, movies, video games, food, technology and the occasional political rant. There is not much else in life.
Feel free to comment on anything you read here. You don't have to register for anything, and if for some reason it says you do, let me know. Please include your name and possibly email address to any comment that you leave. This is only for the reason of me sending hate mail to anything that I don't like or don't agree with. Enjoy.
This blog will touch on any and every topic that is important in life, with the most prominent being sports, television, movies, video games, food, technology and the occasional political rant. There is not much else in life.
Feel free to comment on anything you read here. You don't have to register for anything, and if for some reason it says you do, let me know. Please include your name and possibly email address to any comment that you leave. This is only for the reason of me sending hate mail to anything that I don't like or don't agree with. Enjoy.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)